5 Occasions When You Have to Say No to Your Boss

5 Occasions When You Have to Say No to Your Boss Stress Management Job Stress Print 5 Occasions When You Have to Say No to Your Boss By Sherri Gordon facebook twitter Sherri Gordon is a published author and a bullying prevention expert. Learn about our editorial policy Sherri Gordon Medically reviewed by Medically reviewed by Carly Snyder, MD on November 10, 2019 facebook twitter linkedin Carly Snyder, MD is a reproductive and perinatal psychiatrist who combines traditional psychiatry with integrative medicine-based treatments.   Learn about our Medical Review Board Carly Snyder, MD on November 10, 2019 iStockphoto More in Stress Management Job Stress Workplace Bullying Effects on Health Management Techniques Situational Stress Household Stress Relationship Stress Most employees try to be as accommodating as possible when it comes to requests from their bosses. For instance, they will take on extra work, perform tasks not in their job description and will even attend events that interfere with family functions. But there are times during your employment when saying no to a boss is essential, especially if that boss is a bully. Of course, confronting your boss is not an easy task. It also  can be scary. But finding the courage to do so could potentially make your work experience less miserable. In fact, research shows that pushing back may help bullied employees feel less victimized. According to a study by researchers at The Ohio State University and the University of Georgia, employees that stand up for themselves not only feel less like a victim but also tend to feel more committed to their job and satisfied overall. Whats more, the study also found that they did not suffer the same level of psychological distress as someone who just takes the abuse. Before you confront your boss, make sure the issue is worth taking a stand. Some issues you may want to let play out and see how things progress. But there are other times when you should never accept your bosss treatment or give in to his demands.  Remember, regardless of how bad you need your job, you have to know where to draw the line. Here are five scenarios where you should always say no. Say No More When He Is Abusing or Harassing You Bullying in the workplace is a serious issue. Never ever accept abuse, sexual harassment or bullying as the status quo. No matter how much you like, or even need, your job, do not  sacrifice your mental or physical well-being by allowing yourself to be victimized. It is just not worth it. How Workplace Bullies Pick Their Targets Keep in mind that workplace bullying carries significant consequences and can even impact  your  family if it is severe and ongoing. As a result, be sure you take steps to stand up to bullying. And if your boss continues to harass you, report it to a supervisor. You also can investigate hiring an attorney or filing a complaint with the Department of Labor, especially if the harassment involves your race or disability. The key is that you do not allow yourself to be victimized by your boss. Take a stand for what is right. Say No When He Expects You to Bully Others Some employers create an atmosphere at work where workplace bullying becomes the norm. They reward employees that step on others to get to the top and overlook their methods for getting there. As a result, the entire workforce begins to feel like excluding others, name-calling and even cyberbullying are accepted practices.   As a result, employees start to believe  that to succeed at the company they need to be willing to stab others in the back and slander others who get in their way.  There also  can be a tremendous amount of pressure to participate in these activities just to keep from being the next victim of workplace bullying. Additionally, workplaces like this also tend to have one or two people that always seem to get the brunt of everyone elses bad behavior. They become the butt of office jokes, are excluded from after-work activities and never seem to be treated with respect.   If you see this type of activity in your workplace, not only should you refuse to participate, but you also should stand up for the people being abused. While you may not be able to completely eradicate bullying from your workplace, you can make it less acceptable for others to participate. You also may be able to influence others to take the high road as well.   What Can You Personally Do About Workplace Bullying? Say No When He Asks You to Break the Law Every day in  workplaces across the country, employees are asked to do things that are against the law. These illegal activities might include things like fudging some numbers along the way, over-billing a client, firing someone illegally or overlooking safety concerns. When you are asked by your employer to break the law, this puts you in a lose-lose situation. And no matter which way you go, the path will not be easy.   On the one hand, telling your boss no, could get you fired. But on the other hand, agreeing to the demands puts you, and possibly others, at risk. Thats why it is imperative that you refuse to break the law. If you dont say no, not only could you end up with a lawsuit against you but you could also spend time in jail. Additionally, participating in illegal activities damages your reputation and makes finding future employment much more difficult. As far as attorneys, law enforcement officers and judges are concerned,  obeying your managers orders to break the law is not an adequate defense. Make sure you say no to anything that requires you to break the law. Say No When He Asks You to Do Something Unethical When your boss asks you to do something illegal, you at least have the law on your side when you refuse. Not only is he more likely to back down when faced with the legality of the situation, but he also may want to avoid the risk that you will become  a whistleblower on the illegal activity. Most of the time, your boss will  rescind his demands.   But standing up to a boss who asks you to do something unethical is a little trickier.  Most of the time, unethical bosses do not like to look at themselves in the mirror. So they are not going to like it when you draw attention to the fact that what he is doing, or asking you to do, is wrong. It may even get you fired.  But this doesnt mean you shouldnt stand up for what you believe in. Have a conversation with your boss  about your concerns. But avoid making accusations or overreacting when you do discuss the subject. Remember, your boss may not even realize that his request borders on being unethical. Give him the opportunity to do the right thing before you take your concerns higher. After your conversation, if your boss still insists that you honor his request, make sure you stand your ground and do not comply. Remember,  the consequences you will experience from doing something you disagree with will be steep. Aside from the fact that it will negatively impact your business reputation, you also could experience health issues. For instance, you may develop ulcers, suffer from anxiety and even lose sleep. Overall, it is never healthy to compromise your values at work. Say No When He Makes  Unreasonable Requests Everyone has to work late sometimes. And it is  not uncommon for employees to work weekends. But some bosses are extremely demanding and unreasonable and take these expectations to an extreme. For example, they might require  employees to spend countless hours on a frivolous task at the expense of family time. Or, they might  demand that employees sacrifice weekends and vacation time  to show their commitment to the company. They may even guilt employees into attending a happy hour every night or risk being shunned by the company. At some point, these unrealistic demands can start to feel suffocating and cause an employee to  feel like enough is enough. If you find yourself in this type of work situation, you are bound to burn out from the ongoing pressure and the uncertainty of what will be expected of you next. You may even feel like you no longer have a life of your own and work is all you have. You no longer see your family and friends and by the time you get home you are so tired, you do not have the energy to make a healthy meal, exercise or even walk the dog.   Remember, you need to have a life outside of work and if your employer does not allow for this to happen, it will begin to take a toll on you. Whats more, working for someone who is unpredictable and unreasonable can cause a number of health issues. Never let the demands of an unreasonable boss steal your health and your life. Have the courage to say no to his demands.   Long-Term Workplace Bullying Can Cause Anxiety Disorders